Frequently Asked Questions
Wait a minute, things can't travel faster than light! Are you guys for real?
Yes,we are very real. To explain, let me start off by saying that your fears are groundless, and your concerns, moronic. Things can travel faster than light, as illustrated by the following equation.
T = f *(1/w)*c
where T is the is the total velocity, c is the speed of light in a vacuum, w is the wavelength of the light,and f is the FTL constant. Don't be deceived. This equation is not as simple as it looks. It took years to discover the FTL constant, which for obvious reasons we won't divulge here.
How do I know if FTL will help me in my home or business?
FTL will greatly increase your productivity by increasing the amount of data you can transfer per second. Perhaps it would be better explained in terms that you can understand. Say you are at a real killer party, but the only thing you have to drink your beer with is a spoon. "Dude! I'll never get drunk at this rate!" You say to yourself, "What I need is a bong!" That's exactly what FTL is. It is the bong where DSL and cable are the spoon.
How much does FTL cost per month?
That's the difference between LAX Enterprises and every other company. We don't really charge a "monthly fee." There is just a one time flat rate of $39.95. We are positive that you won't mind the crippling interest rates and hidden charges once you see what FTL can really do.
Should I feel offended after having read this?
Not at all. In fact studies have shown that one out of every ten people who read this do not feel offended. Scientists have proven that studies have shown that all truth can be discovered by doing a scientific study. Furthermore, a wise man once said "You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true." We are positive that as an American, or a potential American, you won't want to be different than the majority. After all, isn't that what this country is all about? Democracy? So do yourself, not to mention your country a favor. Tell all your friends about LAX Enterprises, and darnet, don't be offended, be proud to be an American.
How much has my IQ dropped by reading this?
That's a good question, and a valid one at that. On average, a person will lose between 1 and 7 IQ points everytime he reads this. LAX Enterprises, however, cannot be held responsible for your lack of intelligence or the loss thereof.
Am I an idiot for believing any of this?
To answer that, let me refer you to the disclaimer